Heidi Montag's Latest Body Issue: Massaging Her Breast Implants

First Demi Moore and Lisa Rinna posted bikini pix of themselves, now, Heidi Montag has taken to Twitter to complain even more about all the plastic surgeries she's had done to her body.

Spencer Pratt's on again/off again wife tweeted today that she was "Giving my self a soft tissue breast massage," because, "Ladies we have to keep those implants soft."

Unless you've been on the International Space Station for the last year, you've no doubt heard about Montag's marathon number of procedures which included a browlift, second nose job, liposuction, back sculpting (what IS that?) and having her ears pinned back. And, as a public service announcement of sorts, Montag even tweeted an advisory about getting the latter done, saying, "Warning: to anyone who is thinking about getting their ears pinned, I learned after the fact it is the most painful surgery a person can get." Duly noted.

All this on the heels of a Life & Style magazine cover story from a few weeks ago wherein Montag revealed that she now regrets having undergone 10 procedures in one day last year. The former "Hills" star told the tabloid that even now, nine months post-surgery, she's still in severe pain and revealed that at one point things were so bad that she had to have her (then) husband help her pull down her pants so she could go to the bathroom.

The biggest bummer for Montag - aside from the fact that her surgeon, Dr. Frank Ryan, recently plummeted to his death in a freak accident in California - is that she regrets having had her breasts enlarged to a double F. "I’m desperate to go back to normal," she said in the interview. "I’m downgrading and going a little smaller, to a D or a double D." Citing the fact that she loves to exercise and her enormous chest prevents this from being plausible, Montag said that she's currently looking for a plastic surgeon in South America who will help her out.

Of course, this isn't the only drama in Montag's life. Spencer Pratt has reportedly been shopping sex tapes of the couple around to various distributors and even claims to have a racy one of Heidi and Playboy model Karissa Shannon in "compromising" positions. (Shannon has allegedly filed an injunction against Pratt to stop the release of that - and other - videos he claims to have.)

What will happen next in the tangled Speidi web? Will her nose fall off a la Michael Jackson as she fears? Will their divorce become finalized? Will they ever go away?