Here's some useless trivia for ya: at last count, there were 487 people on staff at The White House.

Yep. Nearly 500 employees clock in every single day and not one of 'em has the title "Special Attaché for Brows." People, if we're going to save our beautiful First Lady." from her dreadful arches, that needs to be rectified. Stat.

Of course, this brow brouhaha is nothing new. In '08 Obama's advisors were worried that her "intense" look would negatively impact his campaign so her make-up artist, Ingrid Grimes-Myles, took the rap. "In the very beginning when I was training Michelle's brows, I trained them to grow in an angular way." My personal aesthetic is that I like a high arch," she said to the Chicago Tribune.

Then, the brows were softened accordingly, Obama won the election, and we thought that was the end of it.

Wrong. BrowGate is back and scarier than ever. (Heck, when she glowered at Republicans during Wednesday's State of the Union address it was downright disturbing!)

As a beauty-conscious American, I feel it's my responsibility to dole out some tough tweezing love. MObama, I respect and admire you, but either send Air Force One to fetch brow guru Anastasia pronto, or heed these tips for a kinder, more gentle arch.

No. 1: Put down the tweezers. Your brows are too thin and need to be allowed to grow in for a fuller, more natural look.

No. 2: Bring them back down. They've gotten way too high again and need to nestle in farther away from your hairline and closer to your eyes.

No. 3: Tone down the arch -- it'll give you a much softer appearance.

No. 4: Ease up on the pencil. The one you're using is too dark. Go for one that's a shade or two lighter than your hair color. Or, as expert Kristie Steicher from the Warren Tricomi salon suggests, "use a tinted brow gel, which looks even more natural and adds fullness and length to your brows."

• Learn about the eyebrow mistakes you're making.

• Indulge in one of these

top brow-enhancing products.

• Note to MObama: Check out how these celebs turned around their brows.