Next up, exfoliation. Look, you exfoliate your face and your body, but, if you're like me, there's a good chance it didn't occur to you that your V deserved the same buffing love. The same way I follow up my facial cleanse with a gentle exfoliation, after cleansing the typically forgettable skin now known as my V, despite not actually being my V, I reached for the tube of exfoliator and prayed to the V gods that it wouldn't irritate my V sensitive skin.

Y'all...not only did it not irritate my skin, the natural AHA acids actually did their job and exfoliated my precious area of de-fuzzed skin. Like you, I never would've thought a specially designed exfoliator for my nether regions would be necessary, but this super-fine buffer changed that.

So, while I was annoyed by just how beneficial this overpriced scrub is, I rolled my eyes at how much I thoroughly enjoyed this post-shave goodness and decided to see what the rest of the line was all about.

First there was BB cream, then there was CC cream; ask some people and they'll rave about DD cream. But, VV Cream, what in the world? Where BB, CC and DD creams cater to facial skin care, VV cream is all about enhancing, renewing and improving the beauty of the V. Yes, you're vajay. Or, rather, the super controversial, heavily policed area above it. Instead of just letting women be and do their thing, now there's just another double-lettered cream to add to the list of must-haves.

In all honesty, as much resentment as I have for the fact that DD cream isn't geared towards male parts, but VV cream is considered supermarketable, I really was pleasantly surprised by this adorably packaged tube of nether region goods. Where the luxurious hydrating cream delivers radiance and moisture, it also helps prevent in-grown hairs and red bumps.

Real talk, y'all. You know when you're freshly waxed or shaven and irritation seems nearly inevitable? This cream changes that. With a quick-dry formula that melts into skin, you'll be annoyed by just how much you love this.

LOL, and y'all thought VV cream was the only new product you'd be advised to stock up on. Nope, there's an intense version, too. As if an added alphabetical step in your regimen wasn't enough, now you have the wonderful opportunity to go yet another step further. Will you? No, probably not. Should you consider it? Well, if you like a supersoft V, yes.

As annoying as it is to fall for products marketed specifically towards making you more appealing based on the societal structures of sexuality and beauty, here we are, loving the nurtured delicate skin it delivers with not a single ingrown hair in sight.

Next on the list of superfluous V skin-care steps, serum. Yes, you read that right. According to The Perfect V, to get the perfect topper to your real life V, you need to smother it in product after product like you do your face. Does it feel velvety soft and satisfying to smear on? Yep. Would that make me buy it along with the other creams? Nah. It's one thing if this is the only moisturizer you decided to buy for a patch of skin the size of a half dollar, but there's simply no need for three.

Picture this: You're sitting at work and the clock strikes noon, it's time to mist. After you pop the cap off your favorite Mario Badescu and spritz your face, you pick up this little beaut and head to the loo. Not even kidding, this is a facial spray for your V. Does hydration help skin of all areas? Totally. Is it truly necessary for the patch of skin above your biological V? Absolutely not.

Though, we will note, the fact that it neutralizes odor (Worst. Word. Ever.) might make you consider it for those post-yoga, pre-happy hour nights. You do you, girl.