We get it. You're in a long-term relationship or have been married for 15-20 years (or, heck, even seven), and those feelings of giddiness and excitement have all but vanished from your love life. You've likely come across tons of articles about how to have better sex (like Elle Woods said, Cosmo is basically the female Bible): Be more spontaneous, try new positions, do it in public, blah, blah, blah. While those are all excellent suggestions, it's important to recognize where the flame needs igniting, and for most women, it comes down to the feeling of passion.

"Novelty is a big part of attraction," says Cavanah. "Trying something new together -- both in and out of bed -- makes a big difference." While you might not be ready to talk like a porn star or whip out the riding crop, Cavanah says even introducing a couple's vibrator to the bedroom can add a lot of excitement.

She recommends the We-Vibe Sync Vibrator, $199, which can be controlled by your partner with an app. If you want to take a page from "The Ugly Truth," you can even purchase vibrating panties to wear out on the town while your partner teases you all evening. If you want to go this route, Cavanah recommends picking up the OhMiBod BlueMotion Remote Vibrator, $129.

Outside of the bedroom, turn date night into mini adventures. What have you always wanted to try but haven't? From skydiving and rock climbing to dance or cooking classes, navigating new territory together stimulates a feeling of excitement and newness together (why do you think they always go bungee jumping on "The Bachelor"?)

If you want to spice things up in the bedroom, but are afraid of freaking out your partner add sex-toy shopping to your next date night. Visit a sex toy boutique like Babeland or shop online together. This will help your partner feel like a part of the process. "Pick out some new toys that will help you try new things and discover new sensations," Cavanah says. Remember, novelty is key, and a new, arousing sensation could be exactly what you're lacking.

While you should always respect your personal limits (especially in the bedroom), challenge yourself and your partner to step outside your comfort zones, and try something new together for the first time. "That could be something like a vibrator you wear during sex, a blindfold and wrist restraints, lube, a massage candle, an anal toy -- whatever," Cavanah says. "Let your imagination take you there."

If trying new things makes you a tad uneasy (we totally get it), whip out the pen and paper (just let your partner know this is the fun kind of to-do list). "A yes, no and maybe list is a great tool for communication," Cavanah says. "It's a list of all sorts of sex acts from the very mild to the more intense." The idea is each partner creates their own sex wish list and then shares it with each other. The cherry on top? Depending on the size of your combined list, you may have a different "yes" and "maybe" to try every night.

It's important to understand that biology (and your mind) play a huge role in the strength of your orgasm, but there are tricks to help you bring down the house with an earth-shattering orgasm.

First, get in plenty of foreplay. "Going straight for the clitoris doesn't work," explains Cavanah. Instead, practice the art of delayed gratification. Prolonging sexual buildup can be extremely effective for generating back-arching orgasms. "Take some time to make your way down their body and tease and stimulate other parts of the body first."

And don't count on intercourse alone to cut it. The clitoris is a woman's pleasure center. While women can get off through internal stimulation, Millheiser says a majority of women achieve the big O through clitoral stimulation.

"The vagina doesn't actually have sensory receptors internally," Millheiser says. "But the legs of the clitoris run on either side of the vaginal wall and these legs move during penile penetration -- which explains why some women can have internal orgasms."

Usually, this comes down to the simplest -- and yet hardest -- piece of advice: Communication. "Most people don't get any kind of sex education that covers how to give your partner pleasure," says Cavanah. "The way it happens in movies where 'the one' knows exactly the right way to give you a mind-blowing orgasm is a myth."

Good sex works because people talk to each other about it, she says. You can't read your partner's mind, so you shouldn't expect them to try to read yours when you're being intimate. Millheiser says it's important for women to express to their partner what it is they're enjoying in bed." Even randomly telling your partner what gets you going in bed in the middle of the afternoon is sexy," Millheiser says. So make it fun and give your boo some praise.

If there's not much to praise these days, Millheiser recommends this no-fail trick: Handwriting. "Take your partners hands and place them exactly where you want them to be," Millheiser says. "In doing so, you're guiding your partner to the pleasure centers of your body and receiving the stimulation you want."

As fun as those drunken one-night-stands were in college, alcohol can hinder or even prevent the sweet release. Just like guys get whisky dick, women tend to go numb. "Excessive alcohol intake can make it difficult for a woman to reach an orgasm," Millheiser says. "Alcohol suppresses psychological inhibitions, but causes the rest of the body's system to slow down, including blood flow to the clitoris." Which means no orgasm.

Millheiser says for some women, a small amount of alcohol can relax them and help them let go of certain inhabitations that may be interfering with having an orgasm. However, large amounts of alcohol can dampen sexual response, making an orgasm more difficult to achieve. So while a glass or two might be fine, avoid taking down the whole bottle of rosé.