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10 Women Get Real About Turning 40

Is it as bad as you think? Spoiler: It's so. much. better.
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'I didn't realize I'd start getting called 'old.''
After the age of 37, Karen Dowing Horiz, soul mission facilitator at Your Soul Mission, stopped giving weight to her age, and instead, based her perception of getting older on how she felt. Even so, as 40 inched closer and closer, she was curious if this entrance into a new decade would be as life-altering as many thought it to be. When she made it to the be 4-0, though? She said very little felt different from turning 30, except she was happier and less stressed. Surprisingly though, it was how other people responded to the year she was born that caught her off guard. "So many other people would say how 'old' I was getting. It was weird. Friends and family seem a lot more focused on my age than I was. I think it is their realization of knowing someone since childhood who is now turning 40, that made them feel as if they were the one who were old. I don't feel that way, and I don't use that term to describe myself at all," she shared.

Image via Irene Tse Photography

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'I believe I'm f-ing awesome and can get through anything.'
At 38 years old, Emily Watson-Rice, owner of Gossamer Arts, was in the best shape of her life. But due to some unforeseen health issues, she entered her 40th year far from the top of her game. Since so many warned Watson-Rice that wherever your health stood at 40 would be the default moving forward, she was anxious about missing the mark. "I felt like I had crossed some invisible line and that suddenly my body was going to start breaking down. I was never worried about being 'old'; I was worried about my body and health becoming more of a struggle," she said. But to combat this mentality, she prioritized her health and took some of the courage she naturally has in the workplace to boost her spirits and her self-esteem. "I'm so confident in myself and my abilities that I let my work speak for me, and I'm proud of what I've accomplished. I also have taken Beyonce's quote to be my mantra "'I'm not bossy, I'm the boss,'" she shared. "The best thing about being 40 is this incredible sense of 'I'm f-ing awesome.' I know I can do anything. I also know who I am. So even though I can do anything, there are things I won't do, and I'm confident enough in myself to stick to my convictions."

Image via Emily Watson-Rice

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'I was surprised life didn't end!'
Educator, author and speaker Bria White turned 40 and took a look at her life, wondering, 'Is this all there is?' Recently divorced and a single mother of three, she was changing diapers and washing mounds of clothes. "I loved being a mother, but I was acutely aware that I had never lived alone. Other women were doing more things, like living on their own and waiting until 40 to have their first child. I dreamed of what my life would be like to not yet have children, to have lived on my own and to have a career before marriage," she said. "I wanted to be seen as a strong, beautiful, professional woman. I dreamed of becoming a best-selling author who traveled the world." As she made the shift from 39 to 40, she was pleasantly surprised that she hadn't ran out of time, but that more opportunities were awaiting in the decades to come. Her life, didn't, in fact, end at 40.

"I still wanted to grow, to learn, to change! I had more energy and clarity than I did in my 30s! I still felt, and perhaps looked, beautiful. I still had needs/wants/desires and I had the new found courage to pursue them. I saw endless possibilities for my future. Life was so far from being over! I felt reborn,'" she shared.

Image via Bria White

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'I realized how much of my life I wasted trying to please other people.'
The 40th year was a difficult one for counselor and coach Renee Jones, but one that shifted her perspective on life, living and her sense of self. After her mother passed away, Jones was left with the task of living without a parent's input, which she says freed up a lot of emotional energy to be herself and explore what that might mean. "In my 40th year I lost my mother, but I began to find myself," she explained. The largest take-away during this year of transformation was realizing how much of her years she spent attempting to satisfy the needs of other people and putting her own desires on the backburner. With this clarity, she sought to turn the tables. "I realized that living, serving and sharing my gifts with others was my purpose rather than trying to keep up with whatever trend or group. I was finally beginning to develop the courage to quit 'just working' and start living my purpose in my career," she said. "I had enough education, training and experience, and I had something real to offer to others. It was my time to step forward and claim my space."

Image via Renee Jones

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'I paid my dues -- and got my PhD.'
When she turned 39, leadership consultant Froswa Booker-Drew thought life was going to come together, especially since a treasured friend reassured her all of her insecurities would disappear. After all, she says, there's a reason so many people call it '40 and fabulous.' But when they both reached this pivotal, seemingly monumental decade-eve? They knew it was time to figure out what the next 40 years would offer them. A few months from the big 4-0, Booker-Drew applied to a Ph.D. program and was accepted. Not only did she earn that degree, but she wrote two books, too -- all of which were plunges she would have thought twice about earlier in her life. "You feel as if you've paid your dues and now it's time to explore and embrace who you really are without so much criticism and judgement from yourself or listening/believing that mess from others. The bulges, stretch marks and cellulite are still ever-present, and they're proof of the struggles, successes and some sins," she said. "I think I've become much more accepting of myself and of others. I've taken risks in my 40s that I wasn't secure to pursue in my 30s."

Image via Froswa Booker-Drew

BY LINDSAY TIGAR | NOV 29, 2017 | SHARES
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