Have you heard of the (sadly, now defunct) Regretsy? With the tagline, "Where DIY meets WTF," this hilarious site chronicled some of the wackiest homespun creations of Etsy, an e-commerce website for the arts-and-craftsy types. The site showcased products like this disgustingly realistic corn poop soap and this Amber Waves of Grain "statement" necklace (which someone actually bought).

After spotting this oh-so-festive vulva zombie ornament (because nothing says Christmas like female genitalia), I can't help but wonder: What has happened to Etsy? Where can I find the artisanal fragrances, the elegant crocheted gloves, the hand-stitched shower curtains, and the pristine vintage garments that Etsy used to be known for? Have they been replaced with real (as in taxidermied) squirrel feet earrings?

Enter: A Cut Above the Retsy, a blog whose mission is to "wade through the dregs" of chintzy potholders and repurposed coffee cans to highlight the "the best shops Etsy has to offer."

Well, I waded through their top picks and have curated my own extra-selective collection, tentatively called, Things I Must Have Right Now. Seriously, this stuff isn't the product of some glue-gun-toting bead-hoarder. These goods are chic, beautifully handmade, and often one-of-a-kind.

I'm a little bit of a nerd for all things vintage, so this Etsy shop has me drooling all over my keyboard. In particular, this adorable 1960s dress ($144) left me in a tizzy. And I know it's fall, but if this seersucker party dress ($125) has been around for the past 60 years, I'd say it can hang out in my closet until next season. Also, I literally can't express or explain my desire to wear this flouncy party dress ($325), but I need it -- to like, maybe bake some cupcakes in. Or joyously Hoover my home while quivering with domestic bliss. Or whatever.

When people ask you where you got your suit (and believe you me, they will), you can tell them it was handmade by a designer overseas. Because it was. Made in Australia, this collection of swimsuits was inspired by "dance, music, and love." I'm on board with all of those, especially if it involves me lounging in one of these sophisticated suits.

The goods of this handcrafted leather shop look like they'd be sold in the uber chic boutiques of Abbot Kinney (in the ultra-trendy Venice neighborhood of L.A.) to the tune of $300, but this handstitched leather wallet/clutch is $79. The owner of this shop, Bunny, will monogram it for free. Since my policy is, "If it isn't moving, put a monogram on it," that's a major selling point for me.

Is there anything prettier than this crocheted top ($80)? It's right up there with sunsets and fireworks in my book. This shop has a slew of beautiful made-to-order and crocheted items, like this Sea Mound Hand Painted Silk Dress ($105), and this Grecian goddess style Athens Dress ($80).