Look, you've tried going up a cup size and down a band size. You've tried going down a cup size and up a band size. You've been to several different department stores and fancy boutiques to get measured. You've tried every bra size in every brand - but you've never been able to find one where the cups laid completely flat against you.

And, LBR: You never will.

Remember how you read all the books in middle school where the heroine was complaining about having a perpetually small chest? Well, those were kind of your jam. Books like "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret" and "The Princess Diaries" really had you covered.

In a pinch, lots of women have been known to store their iPhone in their bra. Us smaller-chested ladies, though? Well, that's never really been an option -- you can maybe store some money in there, but even that's risky.

These things are pretty great for a boost, but boy, are they unappetizing.

Seriously, where do they go? It's like they slip into an alternate dimension.