"The treatment started as normal, but then [my massage therapist] started talking -- and wouldn't stop. I learned about her marriage breaking up, her new boyfriend, why she moved to the area, her history of abuse ... I tried gently telling her ... I wanted to relax and would appreciate a peaceful environment. She would quiet down for a little while, but then would pipe up again and start chattering about something else." — Carly via Successful Massage Therapist
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Gurgle of Doom
"My first time with a male masseuse: I'm laying on the table, finally ready to relax. Little did I know the sound of his hyperactive bowels would prevent any such thing. I couldn't decipher if the masseuse was starving or had to go number two — but for 45 minutes, all I heard was this man's stomach juices communicating with the outside world. I haven't had a male masseuse since." — Sheyda
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Pop Goes the Thai Masseuse
"The masseuse began ... to rub my legs progressively harder, working her way further upwards with each stroke. And then it happened. Faster than the time it would take for me to yell 'sexual assault,' she slid her hand all the way up my leg and, um, poked me. Yes, she popped her greased-up fingernail into my vagina.
What do you do in a situation like that? My eyes widened in horror, and my mind instantly filled with a million thoughts. Did that really just happen? Could I have imagined it? No, it definitely happened. Was it deliberate? Maybe it was just an accident? What if she does it again? What do I do? Maybe I should say something. Or is it part of the massage? I don't want to offend her.
I clamped my eyes shut and desperately prayed for the whole ordeal to come to an end — fortunately, it did with no further incidents." — Lauren, via Never Ending Footsteps
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Checked Out
"I was [getting] a massage by [a guy named] 'Sam,' when I realized that at times he was only using one hand to massage. Then I would hear what sounded like his flip phone closing. Yep, I was right, he was text messaging someone while giving me a massage!" — Gretchen via Successful Massage Therapist
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Sucker Punch
"In Korea, I was most confused by the amount of time the woman spent massaging my face. In the 90 minutes I was there, she must've spent 45 of them on my face. ... Finally, with about 10 minutes to spare, she turned her attention to my extremities. Unfortunately, it was in the form of punching. I don't know about you, but I am not a fan of punching -- during a massage or otherwise." — Angela, via Untitled Adventure
A massage is supposed to be one of life's simplest and most relaxing pleasures. But put nakedness, body oil and strangers in a dim room, and something's bound to go wrong eventually. Scroll through to read all about the painful rubdowns, reflexology gone wrong and not-so-happy endings that have us cringing. May these embarrassing massage moments serve as cautionary tales for the next time you book your bodywork.
