Does Your Butt Need a Bra? (#firstworldproblems)
The shapewear specialists at Spanx have engineered a booty brassierre for mushy tushies
Yes, despite the recent revelation that doctors say Spanx are spanking the hell out of your health, the company has just released the "Trust Your Thinstincts Booty Bra."
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The good news? Our butts are organ-free, so there's no physical damage* to be sustained by strapping on one of these $58 puppies. (*Wounds to your psyche and/or wallet may vary.)
"Expandable fabric placed at the cheeks keep your posterior perky and separated--you won't believe these buns are real!" exclaims the blurb on the Spanx website. Poor grammar aside, raise your hand if you've ever bemoaned the fact that your but cheeks aren't separated enough.
If your hand is raised, you may also like to know that this garment boasts the same "smush-free technology" as its Spanx sister products, ensures a "custom fit and full look," and punches in at a tolerable medium on the Spanx slimming scale.
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