Scarring Beauty Products
So the other day I was hanging out at our Executive Editor Kristen's desk. You know, just perusing all the fun new beauty products that sit there and call to me from across the room (seriously, it's like they whisper to me as I'm trying to work, "Come play with me Anna, come plaaaaaay"). Kristen was showing me the new shades of Bare Escentuals Buxom Smoky Eye Stick pencils and naturally we were drawing all over our hands with them like kids that got a hold of some Crayolas ... luckily there were no freshly painted white walls for us to wreak havoc on.
To help me wipe away the eyeliner evidence, she handed me a cucumber-scented face wipe. I winced and declined as the aroma of cucumber and melon wafted from the freshly opened package. You see, what poor Kristen thought was an innocent, kind gesture was actually a cruel, cruel offering *shakes*. This of course was no fault of hers or the innocent wipes, or even cucumbers or melons in general. This was the fault of NAIR!
That's right. You heard me right: Nair, the hair removing depilatory lotion. "What on earth does Nair have to do with anything?" you ask is shock and dismay. Well it scarred me, mentally, long, long ago when I was young, naïve and just learning how to remove my post-pubescent leg hair. I saw the commercial (everyone remembers "Who wears short shorts?" right?) and had decided I too wanted to wear short shorts while confidently riding some dude's shoulders on the sandy beach.
So, I secretly bought some melon-scented Nair with my allowance, as my mother would have never approved such a purchase. I will spare you the gruesome details of this first burning, painful, melony-cucumber smelling experience. I will however simply state that to this very day, I can no longer use, consume, or be in the presence of anything that smells like cucumber. I won't eat it. I won't touch it. I even prefer not to look at it … I do however love pickles, err sorry, off topic…
And why? Why am I scarred for life, forever having to lie to waiters about an allergy to cucumbers so it NEVER ends up anywhere in my salad? Well, because smell is the sense tied most closely to human memory. My traumatic human memory of Nair is thus directly associated with the smell of cucumber.
Now, my friends, tell me (perhaps in a less dramatic fashion): What beauty product has scarred you?